WAS ES IST
es ist Unsinn
sagt die Vernunft
es ist was es ist
sagt die Liebe es ist Unglück
sagt die Berechnung
es ist nichts als Schmerz
sagt die Angst
es ist aussichtslos
sagt die Einsicht
es ist was es ist
sagt die Liebe es ist lächerlich
sagt der Stolz
es ist leichtsinnig
sagt die Vorsicht
es ist unmöglich
sagt die Erfahrung
es ist was es ist
sagt die Liebe erich fried
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it was my birthday yesterday, and i got a freaking DSLR camera. it's a Canon EOS 400D, one of the coolest things available at the moment. okay, it's not the best thing out there, but it's the best thing available for such a low price (canon is giving cashbacks at the moment). i didn't really have the time so far to try everything my baby offers, but she's a pleasure to work with. okay, and that sounded a lot more ambiguous than i meant it...
i had a great birthday party on friday, the students from bradley (who are part of an exchange program and in town for two weeks) came and joined us, and one of the professors even bought me a drink. a good friend of mine gave me a johnny cash cd, and it has ghost riders in the sky on it. we used to sing that song when i was with the scouts, only in german, and i never knew cash sang a version of it. i also got flowers, a barbie mug, a superman mug (eta), and a bunch of condoms (why is it that people always give me condoms for my birthdays?).
and i also managed to pass that feared martial arts exam of mine. they're usually not that difficult, but they require you to be right there in your body, and that's not always an easy thing in this world, where everybody is so much focused on on the head.
right, that's it with the philosophical thoughts for today.
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because peter and i are totally and completely OUT OF OUR FUCKING MINDS, we bought tickets to the queens of the stone age and eagles of death metal concert in berlin. it's on, like tuesday or something, and we're going there by plane tuesday evening and head back wednesday morning as not to miss any classes.
and i still can't believe we fucking did it! but peter was all, hey, queens and eagles are playing fusion, in berlin, so close (as opposed to the us or so), blah, i'd go if i could - and i said, why don't we? okay, so it's expensive, but if i lay off drinking and don't go to the movies every week, i'll have the money in by june (which is when the gig will be). furthermore, i'll only be here for a couple more months, and then i won't be going to any concerts or anything with you people here for at least a year, so i figure i'll put as much crazyness into the time i've got left.
just so that you don't think i've completely lost my mind: doesn't this sound responsible? i'm taking a first aid for children course, because i guess if i'm gonna be living with a family for a year, it can only be useful. so i had eight hours of first aid classes today, and i've got to admit that i really forgot most of the stuff that i really should have known (e.g. in case of a car accident). i also learned a lot about child-specific first aid, and i'm so glad nothing's ever happend to the kids i babysit, because i'd probably have done a lot of things wrong. eight more hours to go next saturday.
so, today wasn't a total waste.
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honestly, i don't really know how this happened, but i'm going to be an au pair (or, to be exact, and educare) for a year, starting this summer. i mean, i've wanted to do this for quite some years now, but it never seemed like the time. then a couple of things changed and suddenly, right now was the only sensible time to go away. and i figured, what do i have to lose, and sent off my application to AIFS in march.
i found out that i had a lot more hours in childcare than i had expected, and was accepted without much trouble (well, apart from the trouble of getting all of my documents together and online, which was three weeks of running to all sorts of people and offices and places - hell, i tell you). i had my interview last week, got my acceptance letter on monday and my profile was uploaded yesterday.
educare is a really cool program that allows participants to live with a family, care for the kids and study at the same time. i have to finish at least six credits each semester, which judging by ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) gcist's stories, is quite a lot of work, but apparently manageable. also, here's a list with the states i might be going to, if you're interested.
i'll keep you up to date on this. (god, i almost can't wait...)
ps: i have to go to the dentist today. so not looking forward to it, see last entry about me and my teeth. wasn't all that funny...
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so somewhere, i saw this very, very, very good spn vid to a really, really, really cool song. yeah, okay, i've seen about five episodes of supernatural, but that vid is just so perfect that it has to be, you know, 'true to the spirit', or whatever. (i'll be disappointed if the show isn't at least as good as this.) the editing is great as well and perfectly timed with the music.
the song, as i found out later, is god's gonna cut you down by johnny cash. even though i knew some of his songs before, i never cared all that much for his music. but now i just got this urge to listen to some of his stuff, and i'm just so... i mean, i don't agree with everything he did or sings about, but i'm damn impressed with how true to life and to himself he is. and the lyrics - honestly, if i could write like that i'd be happy. they sound like epic storytelling wrapped in the tight structure of a song, which makes them all the more intense. i don't know, i feel like i'm back with my granddad, out in the garden, where my cousins and i'd be listening to his stories about his life, war, communism...
so, anyway, i just got really interested and i thought i might share that.
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first, this happened. then, project chanology happened. related information: here and here (journalfen); here, here, here and here (wikipedia); here (youtube). these links mostly represents the critics' side. i'm not linking to scientology pages, you can go find them yourselves (presuming they're up again).
knowledge is free.
we are anonymous.
we are legion.
we do not forgive.
we do not forget.
which, yeah, i get. i'm really looking forward to see how this plays out. it's gonna be interesting.
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heath ledger died yesterday, they're still not sure why or how. he was an actor and played in some very good movies, like monster's ball, a knight's tale (which is one of my faves), the four feathers, brockeback mountain and i'm not there (not out yet but i bet it's gonna be great).
chuck palahniuk says: We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will.
sounds true to me.
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i hope all of you people out there had great holidays, no matter how you celebrated them.
mine were interesting. i spent the 23rd sick and cooking with my mom, the 24th sick and decorating with my bro, and the 25th sick and celebrating with the extended family. there were lots of good food around, tons of snow, happy people - what more can you wish for?
then, i put myself to bed for two days and tried to get on my feet again, because i knew work would be calling soon. it took me and my colleagues two whole days of the workaholic kind (meaning: 8 am to 10 pm) to rewire the whole network and power cabling in two offices. i have never spent so much time on my knees and on a damn cold floor on my back, and i don't intend to do it again any time soon, because i tell you, IT HURTS.
anyways. bro, friends and me went snowboarding on sunday and had great conditions (perfect snow, fairly good weather). although i promised myself not to take any risks, i couldn't resist the funpark and jumped for a bit. also, i couldn't resist going the (forbidden) backcounty downhill slope. nothing happened, which i'm still not sure is a good thing, because it might encourage me to push myself a bit more next time... but we had so much fun!
i greeted the new year partying at a friend's place and did nothing at all yesterday.
so, these were my very exciting last ten or so days. looking forward to hear about yours!
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somehow this is gonna sound very pathetic for somebody who claims to be an IT-expert (or at least on the way to being one), but this just took me an hour (which for my kind of patience is FAR TOO LONG). SO:
i'm really proud of myself, right now. i managed to install thunderbird and link all of my mail accounts on hotmail to it. as we all know, certain applications of microsoft simply suck (like hotmail, e.g.) so it was a great challenge.
but i did it and all of my emails survived, so i guess that counts for something.
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i have one word for you. FIREFLY. seriously, guys, i fell in love in no more than five minutes. i mean, hello? zoe washburn. yes. and alan whatsisface (he'll always be the guy from knight's tale, though). and i dunno her name in the show, but i think i'm gettin a major crush on jewel staite (she's on sga, too).
and i love, love, love the music. so much. because it's so not your typical spaceship-we're all gonna die-drama-score but aaah, like johnny cash! with scifi! SCIFI COUNTRY!
i thought i knew all good scifi shows out there. I WAS WRONG. i'm terrified by the fact that it's only one season. what am i gonna do if it stays this good and i get to the end of it? i'll cry, that's for sure...
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My story is about forever, and what forever looks like in reality. Stop reading now if you think your life can ever belong to anyone but yourself.
There are some things that you can never give, no matter how much you may want to. I'm not telling you to not try. You should.
The only thing I'm saying is that you should know going in that forever is not something you'll ever have, with anybody. As long as – that's all you can get.
Whatever it is that gives meaning to your life: It also makes your death meaningful.
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
In a murderous time, the heart breaks and breaks and lives by breaking.
Stanley Kunitz
It is in the dark moment that the eye begins to see, you know? It's like when you've reached your lowest point, when things look bleakest, that's when you really get a wake-up call and something is found within to deal with the situation, to at least make the effort.
Viggo Mortensen
You will begin to touch heaven, Jonathan, in the moment you touch the perfect speed. And that isn't flying a thousand miles an hour, or a million, of flying at the speed of light. Because any number is a limit, and perfect speed, my son, is being there.
Richard Bach
this is how it works
you're young until you're not
you love until you don't
you try until you can't
you laugh until you cry
you cry until you laugh
and everyone must breathe
until their dying breath
no, this is how it works
you peer inside yourself
you take the things you like
and try to love the things you took
and then you take that love you made
and stick it into some
someone else's heart
pumping someone else's blood
and walking arm in arm
you hope it don't get harmed
but even if it does
you'll just do it all again
regina spektor
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calm
excited
bouncy
thoughtful
melancholic
